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the first time i was nearly bitten was in my medical officer year. i was going to take a gunshot abdomen to theater...alone. just before, in an inspired moment, i phoned the senior just to tell him what was happening. when he heard the right transverse process of l2 had been injured by the bullet, he seemed disturbed. as i opened, he walked in. good thing he did, because the inferior vena cava (ivc) had been shot through and through at the level of the renal veins.
that was the first time i saw the ivc bleed. it's probably more accurate to say i heard it bleed. it sounded like a babbling brook. it seemed to spew blood, liters at a time. i could smell the adrenaline it caused (in the surgeon). somehow the surgeon got control and the guy made it.
then there was the time the consultant urologists pulled out a kidney for some reason. i was a senior registrar at the time. i happened to be in the vicinity (bad luck. i tried to run, but he saw me and called me into the theater). the urology consultant simply told me to scrub in. when i joined, he calmly tells me he injured the ivc. i looked under the finger of his registrar, indeed, the mamba was angry. he then told me that it was the realm of general surgery and therefore i should fix it. i could physically feel my adrenal glands go into spasm. what could i do? i fixed it, but not without much weeping and gnashing of teeth. afterwards i felt the usual parasympathetic overload after a severe sympathetic drive. i felt weak and tired.
but all the above examples are bearable in the sense that you deal with what is presented to you. not so when you are the one presenting it to yourself. a moment i wish i could forget and know i never will is when i myself nicked the mamba. and yes, boys and girls, he was angry, very angry.
without going into gory details, i cut it just above the liver where it dives behind the diaphragm to enter the heart. a word of advice, if you absolutely feel you must cut the ivc, this is pretty much the worst place to cut it.
i placed a finger over the hole, thereby stopping the bleeding. then i think i shat in my pants. seeing as i couldn't spend the rest of my life with my finger over the hole (although, i feared i might spend the rest of the patient's life with a finger over the hole) i started to repair it. step one was to call my associate to help. together we managed to get control and close the hole, but it was truly a terrifying few hours.
the point of this story is that in my line of work, occasionally (hopefully very very occasionally) you might find yourself in a situation where an action you take leads directly to harm or even death for another human being. to err is human, but when we err we can really f#@k up. i can honestly say it is a terrible and humbling realization.