Thursday, January 26, 2012
doctors can be naughty sometimes too. i suppose boredom can be fertile ground for all sorts of mischief and what speciality tends to leave plenty of room for boredom more than anasthetics, especially when you have to sit around with a stable patient while an orthopod labours through the night fixing all sorts of bones.
the anesthetist in question was on call for the orthopedic list. the list tended to start at about four in the afternoon and go pretty much right through the night. by midnight it could be quite a challenge to maintain enthusiasm, unless of course you had something to keep your mind busy.
after a few cases the gas monkey and the bone doctor took a break to replenish fluids and caffeine levels. however, while the poor unsuspection orthopod wasn't looking the evil anesthetist decided to lace his coffee with a strong diuretic. to ensure the best comic effect he put four times the usual dose in the coffee. i suppose he thought it would be four times as funny.
quite soon into the next operation, a fairly long procedure to fix a fracture of the femur (thigh bone), the poor unsuspecting orthopod started looking uncomfortable. he seemed to be struggling to stand still and resorted to crossing his legs quite a bit. finally he just couldn't hold out anymore.
"sorry guys, but that cup of coffee seems to have really settled on my bladder. i'm going to have to unscrub and go to the toilet." with that he walked out. the theater erupted in raucous laughter. only the bone doctor wasn't in on the joke. soon he was back, looking a lot more comfortable, no doubt hiding a contented smile behind his theater mask. he scrubbed up and continued the operation. unfortunately as the bladder distended again his easygoing nature gradually was replaced with irritation and impatience about the fact that the operation seemed to be taking longer than he and his bladder thought it would. quite soon the same restlessness and leg crossing started up and once again he excused himself and ran from the theater in embarrasment.
when he returned the theater staff were trying to remain composed, but there were a few snickering sounds escaping here and there as well as a giggle or two as the process repeated itself. the bone doctor stopped dead in his tracks.
"what the hell have you done to me?" he demanded. everyone burst out into raucous laughter as he charged out one more time to empty his tormented bladder.