often on christmas i think back to a story from long ago that was based on a christmas meal but had nothing to do with a christmas meal. the man in question was unique to say the least.
it was about february. we were on one of the painful yet entertaining rounds with our eccentric consultant. up to that stage he had actually been so contained that some of us could even have been described as being bored.he just didn't seem to be ranting as much as he usually did. he was also not spewing forth his particular brand of black humour.
then we got to a new admission from the previous night. the patient was a middle aged female with cellulitis, but the thing that struck us all the most was that she was morbidly obese. she must have weighed in at 220kg. obviously we displayed the necessary tact and didn't make a big fat deal of it. the consultant, however had no such scruples.
"you are the fattest person i have ever seen in all my life and let me tell you, i have seen fat people in my many years in this hospital." we all looked around awkwardly, hoping his verbal indiscretion would end. those that knew him well had little illusion that this would be the case. he then turned to the student nearest him;
"you! go and get me a carrot!" the student looked on incredulously. "you heard me!" he bellowed, "fetch me a carrot! and when you bring it give it to her to eat!" we still didn't quite understand what new madness had taken over the faculties of our master. we mutely looked on.
"and then on christmas day give her a second carrot to eat!" he then turned to her. "christmas!" for that is the name he bestowed upon her and indeed the name he used to address her every day until she was discharged, "you are about to make history. you are going to take part in the biggest diet in the history of medicine!"
